Graced to Lead
The Graced to Lead Podcast is an empowering space dedicated to women, designed to inspire, equip, and nurture their leadership abilities in every aspect of life. We are here to remind you of the extraordinary God-grace you possess to lead with confidence and Biblical wisdom, whether in your professional endeavors, at home, in your business, or within your ministry.
Join us weekly for a journey of personal growth and empowerment. Each episode and post is crafted to challenge and inspire you, providing insights and tools that propel you forward in your leadership path. Graced to Lead is more than a podcast; it's a call to embrace God's grace to lead, even if you feel unqualified. Here, we believe in your power to gracefully, boldly, and effectively lead God’s way!
What to expect: solo episodes, conversations with guests, and even a few giveaways.
Graced to Lead
Ep. 15: Feel Like Quitting? (My Story and 3 Ways to Push Through)
Have you ever felt the urge to quit something important because the results didn't meet your expectations? In this heartfelt episode, I open up about a moment when I almost quit the podcast due to overwhelming disappointment. We'll explore the challenge of staying committed when the journey doesn't go as planned and how to avoid allowing past comforts to shake your present determination. I share personal tips on perseverance and emphasize the importance of unwavering focus on our mission, even when the road gets tough.
We also tackle the tricky terrain of distractions and perfectionism, sharing insights on how to discern what truly matters and how not to let perfection paralyze progress. Through my reflections and experiences, you'll learn the value of prayer and discernment in guiding our actions, helping us stay true to our purpose amidst life's chaos. Wrapping up with a deep dive into the profound impact of leadership, I stress the necessity for leaders to stay committed—your influence can shape others' journeys. This episode is a reminder that your leadership matters and your persistence can inspire those around you. Enjoy the show, and remember, you are graced to lead!
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast. I'm Belinda Gaston, your host, and listen. If you are a Christian woman who leads at work, in your own business or even in ministry, you are in the right place here. You'll find practical advice and encouragement as you lead through real conversations that will challenge and inspire you. So join me on this journey to becoming better leaders, god's way. Are you ready? Let the journey begin. Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast. I am Belinda Gaston, your host, and listen.
Belinda Gaston:This episode almost didn't happen today. If I'm honest with you, I felt a bit frustrated because I did everything that I thought I was supposed to do for this podcast and I was expecting some change in my life. That hasn't quite happened yet. Let me explain. Today we're going to talk about when your expectations as a leader are not quite met. How do you handle that? How do you handle when your expectations are not met? How do you handle when you make a good decision as a leader, one that you have prayed about, one that you believe is the right decision, and it doesn't turn out the way you thought it was going to turn out? What should you do? That's what we're going to talk about, because this is how I was feeling. I am recording this episode at about 11 o'clock at night on the day before these episodes usually air. So I usually release episodes on Thursday mornings at 5 am Eastern time. It's 11 o'clock Eastern time on Wednesday and this almost didn't happen because I was like, well, listen, I'm not listen, I'm not expecting, I was never expecting a huge audience. But I tell you, when I made the decision to say yes to God and do what I thought I was supposed to do, I did expect some change, some change in my life, and there have been changes. So I'm not knocking that and I'm going to talk about that in another episode. But what I'm saying is there's a couple of specific things, specific things that I thought that were going to happen, that have not yet happened, and I have really sacrificed to get great people, guests on the show, to make sure that the topics were interesting.
Belinda Gaston:And again, this is not about audience. This is about those things that I believe that were going to happen as a result and I think I don't know if you've been there as a leader or even as a woman, where you have prayed about something you've made a decision and you believe that by making this decision, by being obedient to God, by doing what you're supposed to do, that some things will begin to happen in your life. And then you do. When you make a decision with the expectation that some things are going to happen, because you are doing what you know to be the right thing, based on your faith, based on what you know to be true the facts. As leaders, we look at the facts, we look at our faith. We look at our faith, we look at our resources. You make the right decision and then the results are not as you expect. Maybe the results are disappointing, maybe they're lackluster, but what do you do? And so for me, it was you know what I quit? I quit. I can create it a social media post that says you know, this is the end of the season, we're not doing any more Graced to Lead Podcast. Thank you for those of you who have been listening. I appreciate it and move on.
Belinda Gaston:But as I was sitting thinking about, you know I could just throw in the towel. I can say I've done it and that's great. Some other things kind of rose up in my mind, and so I'm going to share with you my tips for when you say yes to the decision that God has put in your heart as a leader, and your expectations aren't met. Your expectations aren't met. Your expectations aren't met. So the first thing that I realized is that I was being influenced, really, by some things that had nothing to do with this podcast, nothing to do with this podcast.
Belinda Gaston:The reality is that what I began to do is I began to think about the time before the podcast. The time before the podcast, the things of old kind of how I used to be, what I used to do, it's the, it's the past, it's. I remember that time when I was really comfortable and always, and I wasn't doing a podcast. Listen, I'm not saying that this podcast makes me uncomfortable, and I did talk about navigating the uncomfortable spaces. If you haven't listened to that, please go listen to that episode. But what I'm saying is that this is work. Anything as a leader that you take on that's new is work, whether it is for your job, whether it's for your business, whether it's some new venture, it is work. And so I'm doing this work and I'm like. But I remember when I had more time. I remember when I didn't have to do interviews on the weekends. I remember when I had evenings to rest and relax instead of editing a podcast or instead of creating a social media post. I remember that time when I had, before all of this, where I was comfortable. Why did I leave that space in the first place? And so I began to think about, like the time before, now and again, I am enjoying this space, but it is work, and when I said yes to God and when I moved in that thing, then I expected some things to happen that just haven't happened, and so my first thing is that we can't get comfortable in the things of old. Listen, I cannot stay in a place where I'm constantly thinking about what used to be. You and I, as leaders, cannot stay in a place where we're thinking about what used to be.
Belinda Gaston:I have a colleague of mine we used to work together who quit her job and started her own business, and so now she is a full-time entrepreneur. And so now she is a full time entrepreneur, and we recently had lunch and she was explaining to me that she was on a budget and she wasn't doing all these things, and she began to reflect on the what, what used to be when she had her job, when she was working a job instead of working her business. She had more resources. When she was working a job, she would come into a place like this and she would treat, and she was actually apologizing for not treating. Now, the last time we had lunch together she didn't treat, but in her mind she remembered all the times that she would treat other people for lunch and what she would do, and it really, for a few minutes, turned into this time where she was just constantly thinking about what used to be, and so I stopped her for a moment and asked the question. I said hey, what, what is it like now? What is it that you have now that you didn't have then? That had you stayed in that comfortable place, had you stayed there, you wouldn't have had. And she began to talk about how she had more flexibility, how she didn't have to check in with her boss before she did things. She has a, she has a daughter, and this summer they've been going on what she calls these experiences every week where they'll go to the park or they'll go to a library, or they go to a museum or something like that. But none of that was something that she could do before, because she had a certain amount of time that she had to show up for work. Now she can create her own schedule, and I think that's the first thing that we do.
Belinda Gaston:When we do take on something new, when we make a different decision, when we do something different. It's easy for us because sometimes it can be bumpy from the start. I don't know anyone and I'm sure there are people out there, but I don't know many people who make a decision, make a new decision, take a new venture, do something different, do something new, and it's all a bed of roses from the beginning. There are bumps in the road, there are disappointments, there are things that happen that you don't expect, and so it's natural for us to begin to think about. Well, I remember when it wasn't this way. I remember when it was smooth, I remember when things weren't challenging, Right and so what I had to do for myself.
Belinda Gaston:Even in making this episode and I am speaking to you right now from the top of my head, I have no notes for this which is huge, but I can tell you that the first thing I started to do was to think about the comfort in the past. The comfort in the past, and that comfort in the past was. I guess it was comfortable, but the reality is, in order for me to get where God wants me to be as a leader, I couldn't stay in that place. I had to transition into something new. Now, in the case of this podcast, I don't know what God has in store, but what I do know is, had I not done it, there will be a lot of things that I had not experienced. One I didn't realize that I had such an amazing group of strong, dynamic women leaders in my network, people who had wisdom. I've heard stories from folks that I've known for a long time in these interviews that I never would have heard had I not asked those questions or this platform not existed. I have met some amazing women who've reached out and said hey, I really like the podcast, keep going. I would never have met those women had I stayed in that place of comfort.
Belinda Gaston:In the past, I've had opportunities to speak in places and to coach in ways that I never would have had had it not been for the podcast, and so I had to really remind myself tonight listen, just because you haven't seen what is coming, just because you haven't seen the thing that you expected to happen. You cannot forget what's happened. You cannot forget what's happened, you cannot forget what's already happened, and you can't get to a place where you're comfortable going back to the things that you used to do, going back to the past, going back to the things of old, because there is yet more. So that's the first thing that I'll share with you as a leader. If you've made some new decision, you've gone on some new business venture, you've stepped out on faith to do something different, you may feel like why did I do this in the first place? Why did I stay in my old place, back, where I was comfortable, where I knew what things were? I mean, things weren't so bad. Listen, there was a reason that you were pushed forward to do something different, and that reason is probably tied to the past, something that needed to change. So we can't get comfortable. We can't get comfortable in the past.
Belinda Gaston:The other thing that I realized that was impacting my decision to quit this podcast was I became distracted with something. And there's, there was a situation, there's a situation happening right now at work and I'm very distracted by it. I'm very distracted by it, right. And I also found that once I became distracted by that, there were other things that were distracting me. Once I became distracted by that, there were other things that were distracting me, and so tonight, this evening, I sat down and I started to kind of think about what's all this stuff in my head?
Belinda Gaston:And sometimes for me, journaling really helps and I think we've heard this tip in another episode, but journaling can really help you focus. And so I started to write down, like what is it, what's happening in my head, just without censoring it, without editing it, just getting it all out on paper. And what I realized is there are a few things that I'm distracted by, and out of those, say, three things that I'm distracted by right now, only one of them is something that I can control, something that really concerns me. Two of those things I'm distracted by have really, if I step out of it, have nothing to do with me. It has to do with other people, their decisions, their preferences, their paths in life. It has nothing to do with me. But because I know about those things and because I love those people, I'm now distracted by things that don't even concern me. I had lost my focus on what I was supposed to do by being distracted by things that, again, didn't even concern me, things I can't even control. Why am I distracted by things I can do nothing about?
Belinda Gaston:Are you right now being distracted by something that is not a priority for you, that you can't control, or that doesn't even really, at the crux of it, at the foundation, at the core of it, has nothing to really do with you? That can make you want to quit. Distractions can make you want to stop doing what you know you should be doing, what God has called you to do, what God has purposed you to do. It can cause you to stop because you are, lose your focus on that thing and start focusing on these other things. Distractions can hinder our progress, and so what do you do? What do you do? How do you determine if something is something you even should be dealing with? You know that's a distraction, particularly as leaders, because you know remember, as leaders a lot of times we have not only the things that we're dealing with, but we have staff, we have teams, we have employees, we have people that we influence and we're dealing with their things as well. And a lot of times we want to create a solution for everything, even if those things aren't really priority for us. And so a few things come to mind here when we start thinking about those things that distract us.
Belinda Gaston:I have to ask myself often, and I had to ask myself this evening, a few questions. First, is what I'm thinking about really about me? Is it about me? So, in one of the cases, it's a situation and I'm trying to be careful here not to give people's personal stuff, right but it's a situation where a question was asked of me, but the situation doesn't necessarily involve me. So this is between two or three other people that have nothing to do about me. The only thing I have is a little bit of information. So is this about me? No, why am I distracted by it? Why am I distracted by something that is not about me?
Belinda Gaston:The second thing is as a woman of faith, I have discernment. I, in all of these areas, from the things that are happening at work for me, for the things that are happening in these other situations not once, maybe once, but not often, I'll say often have I stopped to pray for discernment? What is it that I should be doing as it relates to these situations? But where's the discernment there? Right? Is this about me? And give me discernment to help me figure out whether I should be taking action.
Belinda Gaston:Sometimes the distraction is just for you to be aware of, so that, as you navigate your leadership space, you are conscious of oh, this thing is happening and it may impact me in these ways, right? Not that I necessarily have to do anything about it, not that I have to focus on it. It's just an FYI or an FYA, you know, for your information or for your awareness right. An FYI or an FYA, you know, for your information or for your awareness, right? The third thing I asked myself tonight when I again we're talking about I'm being honest with you about the fact that I thought about quitting tonight. Tonight, the third thing I had to ask myself was did I, when I made the decision to do this, did I believe what I actually believed? Did I believe that this was something that God told me to do? Is this something I'm supposed to be doing? Is there a purpose here? What was that original intent? Right, because the distractions are keeping me from focusing on that.
Belinda Gaston:And if I honestly believe that I was called to start the Graced to Lead podcast, which I believe, despite what happens, if that's what I believe, then anything that takes me away from that focus is a distraction that I don't. That's a distraction I don't need to focus on, I don't need to give my attention to that. I can be aware of it. I can pray for discernment. Is there anything specific I need to do in these areas for these things? But I need to focus on what I know to be true, which is this is what I'm supposed to do right. Know to be true, which is this is what I'm supposed to do right. And so, in addition to not getting comfortable in the things of old and not getting comfortable in the things of the past, it's really important if we want to make it through that place where we've made this decision and we haven't quite seen the manifestation I hate to use that word but the expectations that we had happen, then the second thing we need to do is to stay focused and not get distracted by the things, especially the things that don't concern us.
Belinda Gaston:And so the other thing I realized as I was thinking about quitting was you know, oftentimes we, when we start to execute something new, we execute and then we add new things or we do other things. I have a friend who is, I think, one of the best business businessmen I know and he he told me a long time ago. He said Belinda, you can only focus on one thing at a time. Now, for women, we multitask all the time. We're constantly. Not I don't want to group us all, I won't stereotype, but I will say most women I know, particularly if they're leaders, multitask all the time. They're thinking strategy, they're thinking about the to-do list. They are literally multitasking all the time. And while multitasking is great, there is a level of focus that's required for everything that we do. Right, and we just talked about focus.
Belinda Gaston:But when we start to execute things, it's easy to find, hey, I'm executing this thing and it's not perfect, and so I need to go back to the drawing board, I need to do something different, I need to make it right. And one of the things I realized through this podcast is that to execute does not mean perfection. It doesn't. And so one of the things I was getting caught up on when I was thinking, oh, I feel like I need to throw in the towel here, is that I started realizing all of the errors. I started focusing on the errors.
Belinda Gaston:Oh, my sound wasn't so great in the last episode. Or, oh, did you hear that car drive by. And man, I really should try to get a professional to help me with this and I should try to get the professional to help me with that. And maybe I should put this on social media a different way and maybe I should try to get the professional to help me with that. And you know, maybe I should put this on social media a different way and maybe I should market this differently. And you know, my voice sounds really weird. Why do I sound like that? Like it was, I became a bit critical of myself, if I'm honest, and that led to me feeling like my execution of this thing was not done well. Maybe I didn't do this right, and that's something that can also make us throw in the towel, make us say, you know what I quit.
Belinda Gaston:But what I realized this evening is that nothing is perfect, nothing is perfect, and so we can't allow a desire for perfection for things that we call it excellence. Oh, we operate in excellence. We can't let that hinder us from progress. Progress over perfection, progress I need y'all to repeat after me. I will progress over my desire to be perfect. Progress over perfection. I will progress over my desire to be perfect. It's the imperfections that God uses to help others.
Belinda Gaston:If you really think about the leaders in the Bible, every leader in the Bible had some imperfection, had some weakness, had some challenge, yet they led. And there were some really great leaders who had some really great challenges. I mean, think about David. Oh, my goodness, david. David saw a woman on the rooftop and had his way with her, and she was married to another man. That's an imperfection, but he was one of the great leaders in the Bible. Solomon, wisest man in the Bible. Imperfection. Moses led people out of bondage, out of captivity. Imperfection, imperfection, imperfection, imperfection. And so why would we focus and quit on ourselves and quit on the things that we should be doing, just because things aren't perfect?
Belinda Gaston:There have been almost 500 downloads of this podcast, 500 in the 15 week period or 14 week period that it has been up. That doesn't seem like a large number, but when you look at how really these have come about, if you only knew and maybe I'll share the process that amazes me. Things were or anything. I mean these were conversations, yet almost 500 people downloaded at least. Well, almost 500 episodes were downloaded and listened to for leaders, to hear other leaders talk about their faith and how they lead, to give tips on leadership, to share some wisdom in leading God's way.
Belinda Gaston:I can't quit, and neither can you, and so at this point I'm pretty sure I'm rambling, because again I am. I literally am sitting. I'll tell you, I'm sitting on my floor in my closet, not even where I normally, where I normally record. I am sitting on my floor in my closet at almost midnight the night before this podcast will air at five in the morning, and I'm just talking and I'm telling you that I almost quit and I've come to my senses, and I'm telling you that you can't quit either. You can't quit. There is something inside of you lead her that God needs for the world, and boy is this world something right. The way you put together your sentences, the way you communicate is needed. The way you strategize is needed. Your voice is needed. Your compassion and your passions are needed. There is someone right now waiting to hear from you, waiting to receive from you, waiting for your help, waiting for your strategy, waiting for your leadership. Someone right now is waiting. There is someone out there that is being influenced by each person that is listening to this podcast. You can't quit.
Belinda Gaston:I know, in the past things were however they were. This is different. This is not the past. I know it feels like it may be the same thing, but it's not, and it's okay to be uncomfortable. And let me just say, if your past issue is that you failed before, I say this time will be different. It's not the same. You're needed.
Belinda Gaston:Don't get distracted by all the things. Ask yourself is this really about me? Is this something I should even be focused on, or is this just something I should be aware of? Why am I so involved in this thing? This is a distraction. Why am I so involved in this? This has nothing to do with what I'm purposed, what I'm created, what I'm leading, all of the things. Why am I distracted?
Belinda Gaston:We can't be distracted by the things that don't even concern us. And while we're talking about those things, let's talk about the burdens that we're carrying that aren't even ours in the first place. Some of us are distracted by burdens, by responsibilities, by the things we think we should be doing that aren't even ours to begin with. It's someone else's that they've put on us. It's someone's expectation that they've unfairly given to us, that we have received because we've taken it in. No more of that you can't quit. And if that's causing you to feel like you should quit, stop. You can't receive it anymore. And just remember that you don't have to be perfect. Free yourself from perfection and just progress. Progress over perfection. If you hear nothing else.
Belinda Gaston:I want to encourage you, leaders, that you can't quit because you are necessary, that you can't quit because you are necessary. You can't quit because you are necessary. I'll say this and I'll end by just saying that, when I think about every pivotal moment in my life as it relates to my career, my business, every pivotal moment, there was some person whose voice, actions, behavior influenced me. God used them to influence me, to help me get from the place I was to the next place that I was supposed to be. You are that for somebody and if you quit, they might not make it to where they're. That's all I have to say this evening when I replay this episode. I hope that I didn't ramble, but I just spoke from my heart today. Know that, that you matter, that your leadership matters, that you are necessary, and remember that you are indeed graced to lead. Until next time, until next week, have a wonderful week.
