Graced to Lead

S2/E11 - Time to Strip: The Truth About You That Can Set You Free with Belinda Gaston

• Belinda Gaston • Season 2 • Episode 11

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What's holding you back from your most authentic leadership? Today, Belinda takes a bold departure from the usual podcast format to share one of the most vulnerable chapters from my new book, Equipped by God. Graced to Lead. Reading from Chapter Four, "Time to Strip," she invites listeners into a profound space of reflection about how our unaddressed wounds and hidden struggles affect our ability to lead effectively.

The most compelling revelation? Your greatest leadership moments will likely emerge from your places of deepest weakness. As Scripture reminds us, God's power is made perfect in weakness—not in spite of it. Belinda vulnerably shares how her own journey of stripping away pretense unlocked her ability to finish writing her book after a year-long standstill.

For every leader who's felt like an impostor, for everyone who's questioned their qualifications, this episode offers a liberating truth: you don't have to be perfect to be chosen. God deliberately places broken people in positions of influence, equipping them with everything needed to fulfill their purpose. Your scars don't disqualify you—they're part of your unique qualifications.

After listing, take 10 minutes today to honestly identify what you might be hiding, even from yourself. Write it down without editing or explaining it away. Then watch as God begins a healing process that will revolutionize how you lead. Remember, you weren't haphazardly chosen for your position—you were purposefully placed there, and you are indeed graced to lead.

Get your copy of Equipped By God. Graced to Lead. now! 

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Belinda Gaston:

Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast. I am Belinda Gaston, your host, and listen. This week I'm doing something a little different. If you remember, from not the last episode, last week's episode, but the episode before that I talked about my new book Equipped by God, Graced to Lead, and so many of you have been amazing and supportive and purchased the book. But several of you have asked me what the book is about, and so I decided to share a chapter with you today.

Belinda Gaston:

I chose one of the chapters that made me the most nervous to write and I've decided to share it with you today, and so this particular chapter is called Time to Strip. It is actually chapter four in the book. Chapter four, it's really about laying the truth of what you're feeling, who you are, what you're experiencing, before God, because a lot of times, what happens is we will hide things, even from ourselves, things we don't really want to deal with about ourselves, and the reality is that affects how we lead right, and so I've really been going on this journey about being more transparent, sharing things that impact my own personal leadership, and listening to others and sharing other people's stories about how things that have happened to them or things that they're experiencing are affecting their leadership Because, after all, Graced to Lead really is about our faith, having our faith in God as we lead, and understanding that we were chosen to be in these places of influence. We were chosen to be in these spaces of leadership and as part of our assignment is to lead well, is to influence well, is to create strategy that's sound, and we cannot do that if we are hindered by things we haven't dealt with. I also am a firm believer that we are, that God places us not only in these positions for us to lead, but also that when he places us in these positions, he equips us with everything we need, because our leadership is a part of our worship. Do you ever think about that? Our leadership is a part of our worship unto God, and so leading well is not just, in my opinion, a responsibility, but it's a mandate. If you are a believer that the places that God has placed you in, you're there for a reason and there's a responsibility that comes with that, and so I thought I'd share this with you, because this is really the moment in the book, in the writing of this book, for me, where I began to lay down some things and just bear out what was in my heart, and the beauty about bearing out what's in your heart before God is that there's no judgment, right, because the reality is God already knows these things, but there is healing in that place. As I'm reading it, I'm going to ask that you allow reading it. I'm going to ask that you allow God to show you whatever it is that he wants you to see. So, if you're listening to this right now, still I want you to just take a moment to listen as I read and really reflect on my words and how these things that I'm saying, if you can resonate with them, what they may mean for you in your life. So here we go, chapter four, time to strip. I spent the last two chapters sharing some deeply personal experiences.

Belinda Gaston:

When I started writing this book, I did not intend to share too much of myself. I wanted to give you a little of me and a lot of God. I wanted it to be just enough that you felt encouraged, but not so much that you really knew me. Why? Because I don't know you like that. I mean, I didn't want to let you in the places in my life that weren't perfect, that weren't expected or acceptable. But let me tell you what happened. But let me tell you what happened. I started this book and wrote quite a bit of surface stuff. Then, for over a year, not much happened. My publisher waited and waited and waited for me to respond to their editor's notes A shout out to Living With More Enterprises for not firing me as an author.

Belinda Gaston:

Y'all my friends and family thought the book was made up. Where is this book? Some of them would ask. When will you finish? Something was holding me back from putting the words on paper. Have you ever tried to accomplish something and everything under the sun seemed to work together against you finishing the task? That was me. I was too busy with work, too busy with the kids or too busy with church has anyone been there? But it wasn't that stuff. It was something else.

Belinda Gaston:

Writing this book required me to adequately deal with the very things that made me feel like I wasn't qualified to lead. I felt like I wasn't enough for the positions God placed me in or where he would take me For me to help you. I had to walk through my deliverance and y'all remember the stuff that you just read. That is only a part of my story. Sure, the chapters were written and, honestly, I could have made some minor edits and published a book just fine, but God didn't want this book to be just another book. God wants to help us yes, me too begin a real process of being delivered from the things that hinder what he wants for us. God wants to encourage us to embrace that we are chosen, just as we are chosen, to do big things and small things in big ways, for the purpose of the one who created us. Did you get that? Let me repeat it you were chosen by God. Yep, it's true, just as you are, with all your faults, flaws, talents and experiences, to do big things and small things in big ways. Yep, you have work to do For a purpose and no, not everyone will be a CEO, but leadership happens in businesses, families and even among friends.

Belinda Gaston:

What was clear to me was that I needed to strip to reach the intended purpose of this book. I needed to take it all off. To strip means to remove clothing, materials and surface matter from something. It means to remove extraneous or superficial matter from something. That's what I needed to do to ensure that you receive what God wants you to from this book. I needed to remove the fluff, remove the superficial surface matter and share personal things that I don't talk about often. And since you kept reading to this point, that means that my experience is something you can relate to, or at least it's something that you want to hear more about.

Belinda Gaston:

Now I'm not done sharing my experiences. I promised in the last chapter that if you kept reading, I would help you identify and begin to deal with some of the things in your life that make you feel inadequate. So it's time to get started, time to identify some things. The first thing you must do is what I've already done you have to strip. Now. Listen, don't look at me with that tone of face.

Belinda Gaston:

I know some of you are saying here we go Another take off the mask reference. Let me explain. Like some of you, I am sometimes tired of people telling me to take off the mask. I don't want to go to one more women's event or inspirational workshop where I'm meant to do anything with a mask. I am over it and, honestly, whenever I participated in something like that, it was all so temporary. Do you know why? While this is not true for all, some of the leaders of these unmasked experiences were leading while wearing their own masks, or at best they were putting them on and taking them off when it was convenient or while trying to navigate their experiences that created their need for a mask in the first place. So I assure you this is not that type of reference. For those of you reading this who have no idea what I'm talking about, that's great. Keep reading. Now back to the task at hand. It's time for you to strip.

Belinda Gaston:

Let me tell you a story Right Another one. When I met my husband, he told me that he didn't want us to have sex unless we were married. I'd never met a man like that before. As you've already read, I was not exactly a virgin, and most men I knew spent all day thinking of ways to separate women from their clothes Not Mike. I understand now that he was tired of dating. He was on a mission to find his wife and he felt like sex complicated things. At the time, I thought he was strange or just not into women. In my dating experience up to that point, this was just not a usual occurrence. We spent almost every day together and it quickly became apparent that he received his instructions from God and was determined to be obedient. It was not easy Listen. There were times when our desire for one another was so bad that we couldn't even be alone together. Sometimes things got so heated that we almost failed, but we stuck it out.

Belinda Gaston:

The week before my wedding, it hit me that I was marrying a man who had never seen me completely naked. Imagine that we were about to commit ourselves to one another for the rest of our lives, but we had never really stripped down before one another On our wedding night. I was so nervous. What if he took one look at me and instantly regretted it? What if I looked at him and felt the same? What if we couldn't provide each other what we needed? There was no turning back. We had to strip before each other literally. We had to share our flaws, accept each other with no fluff and find a way to make things work.

Belinda Gaston:

The act of stripping off my clothes and standing before my new husband was more terrifying than any other of my sexual experiences. Why? Because the other guys that I had been with before him never saw the real me. I mean real talk. We stage those things right To help us appear in our best light. Men do push up. Sometimes before a hot date, women wear their best lingerie and by the time you get to the sex, the pageantry of it all is so exhausting that you really don't see the person in an authentic way. You see the experience of them. On my wedding night, there was no pageantry, no show. We were excited, but we were exhausted. It was him and me stripped of the surface stuff, looking at the real us.

Belinda Gaston:

It was at that moment okay, not in that exact moment that I started to understand the importance of the process of standing before someone as you truly are Stripping off the stuff that covers your flaws, previous experiences, expectations and disappointments. It creates a vulnerability that allows you to build a relationship in a different way. So for you to continue in this process, I need you to strip. I need you to open up yourself to God Heck, I need you to open up yourself to you. It is the only way to move forward and receive anything else in this book. If it makes you feel any better. I did this too. Remember how I said it took over a year to really make progress on this book. God brought me to this point and told me it was time to strip.

Belinda Gaston:

I had to admit some things to myself. I had to admit that in some ways I felt like an imposter. To look at me, you would think I was strong in so many areas of my life. On the inside, I had doubts and fears about whether I was good enough or worthy enough for those areas. I had to admit that I messed up a few times and didn't apologize to the people I hurt in the process. I had to remove the wall I had put up that allowed me to be friendly but not open to the love of others, which we will talk about later. I had to admit that sometimes I didn't feel as beautiful or as capable as others. I had to admit that my thoughts about myself or situations in my life were not always positive. I had to admit that sometimes prayer didn't seem like enough. Listen, I had to deal with me.

Belinda Gaston:

The most important part of my stripping process was taking an honest look at the things that hindered me from moving into what God called me to do. I made a list of all the things I felt were hindering me when I was writing this book. Here are some of the items on my list. Of the items on my list Inconsistency, self-doubt, hurt from people that I love, mistakes. I made my busy schedule. I also made a list of the things that I wanted God to help me with the most being more confident in ministry and leadership, anxiety and fear. Being a better friend, forgiveness of myself and others, being a better parent. The thing is, I had to make these lists without judging myself or analyzing the list.

Belinda Gaston:

Going back to my wedding night, can you imagine what would have happened if I stood before my new husband naked and started to explain every bump and blemish in my body? Imagine it me naked, saying see this mark on my knee, that was because I fell off my bike when I was 10. Or my stomach would be flatter but I had that extra shrimp at the reception. It would have been a disaster. I had to strip and let it be. I'm asking you to do that as you strip, put it out there without explanation. I promise you that we will deal with the stuff later. This is the first step in identifying some things. Let me tell you something. Once I decided to strip, the book wrote itself. God used that moment to show me exactly what I had to do to experience deliverance in those unhealed places in my life. Then he gave me the words to write this book.

Belinda Gaston:

The process is necessary this book. The process is necessary. Now it's your turn, time to strip.

Belinda Gaston:

Before you go to the next chapter, make your own list. You can use the lines below or a separate sheet of paper, but complete the following sentences the things that are hindering most in my life are Sentences. The things that are hindering most in my life are the things that I need God to help me with are. I'll stop reading there because I continue in this chapter with a prayer. But that was chapter four and I know that was a lot and it's unusual for me to be reading my book on a podcast, but it felt so necessary.

Belinda Gaston:

One for those who would ask, kind of, what the content is in the book. That gives you an idea. But two because I think it's important that we take some time to deal with the truth about us and understand how it helps us to lead authentically from a place where God has chosen us to lead. So let me walk you through a few takeaways that I had in this chapter. So let me walk you through a few takeaways that I had in this chapter.

Belinda Gaston:

Number one I would say is you can't heal what you hide. I don't care how much you want to heal or how much you want to be delivered If you hide from yourself the truth about you. It's difficult to deal with that situation right. I know that sometimes our minds will create things in it that help protect us from a traumatic experience, and so I'm not really talking necessarily about that. But what I'm saying is that God already knows what you've dealt with, and so when you begin to get honest with yourself about what you're feeling, about your emotions, about your faults, about even the good things, then something begins to happen. God can use your quest, your identification of things to take you through a process that heals. And let me tell you, if you don't identify those things, you're trying to hide those things. Nobody is fooled, because I guarantee you, how you're leading right now is a direct result of even the hidden things and I talk about some of this in the book. Some of the hidden things, why I was friendly but not open, why I put up walls, why I didn't ask for help those are things that were direct result of things I kept hidden from others. I smiled and I seemed confident, but it did impact my leadership. So that first thing is it's hard to heal what you hide. The second thing I wanna leave you with is that leadership isn't about having it all together.

Belinda Gaston:

I hope that by now, if you listen to Graced to Lead at all, you understand that. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 12 that my Graced is sufficient for you. God goes on to say my power is made perfect in weakness. I believe that scripture is there because we will be insufficient sometimes for the things that God has called us to do. But listen, if God has placed you in that role of leadership or manager, or a staff person, or a mother or a sister, or an entrepreneur or a minister, if God has placed you in those positions, it's because he believes that you are able to do what he needs you to do, as long as you rely on him to do it. As long as you rely on him to do it. And I give you a new flash when you're placed in a leadership position by God, there's no better place to be. Why? Because you're not responsible for the results. You're not. All you have to do is to trust God and to have a relationship with him and allow him to give you the strategies you need.

Belinda Gaston:

Some of my best leadership moments that people tell me about because you don't really recognize it yourself all the time, but some of the things that people remember about my leadership over the course of these 20 some odd years has always been moments where I was at my weakest, where I literally did not know what I was supposed to be doing. I literally didn't know how I was going to do what was in front of me, and God equipped me, god strengthened me, god gave me strategy so I could rest in knowing that it's not really about me having it all together. It's about me trusting God and me trusting that I am where I'm supposed to be, trusting God and me trusting that I am where I'm supposed to be. And the last thing I will leave you with is that, you know, I always say you're a Graced to lead. Right, but you are Graced to lead, even with the scars.

Belinda Gaston:

Listen, we all have things and there's no such. I mean, you know, everybody has different versions of trauma. I've heard somebody say big T and little t trauma has different versions of trauma. I've heard somebody say big T and little t trauma. We all have stuff. That's the reality. Everybody has something and my perception of what I've gone through may feel big to me and small to you, but it doesn't matter. I still have scars. I still have things I've gone through. My things may not look like your things, but they're still my things.

Belinda Gaston:

And, despite all, god gives me the ability to lead in the spaces he's called me to lead. He's given me the ability to be the mom he wants me to be. He's given me the ability to be the friend he needs me to be. He's given me the ability to be the minister that he's called me to be. He gave me the ability to be the teacher. He said well, all the things to be a leader in the corporate space. All of those things he's given me despite me. Right? If you really want to see some messed up people, read your Bible. Read all the great leaders and see the mess and the scars that they had dealt with in their own personal lives. And yet God still chose them. You are Graced to lead. I believe that. So here's what I want you to do. I did read the journal prompts in the book, but I want you to take about 10 minutes.

Belinda Gaston:

Today, if you're listening to this, wherever day you're listening to this, I want you to take 10 minutes and I want you to pray about that, what am I still hiding? What needs to be stripped away? And I want you to write it down. And again, when you write it down, no editing it. You know, sometimes we'll even edit in our mind before we write things on paper or write things in our digital notebooks. Just write it down, because freedom begins with putting a name to those things, right? And then I want you to pray for God to show you the next steps. Right, this is not a space for you to sit in, but it's just to help you have some aha moments. So that's what I wanted to share with you. And listen, if this episode stirred something in you, share it with a friend.

Belinda Gaston:

For me, I believe that there's someone else that needs to hear this and be reminded that one, it's okay to not have everything together. They need to be reminded that it's hard to heal something that you hide and they need to be reminded that. You know, listen, god calls broken people to do bold things. God calls broken people to do bold things. You are Graced to lead. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have all the answers. And so if you haven't picked up your copy of the book, as a reminder, equipped by God, Graced to Lead is available on Amazon, it's available on Barnes Noble and you can also access a copy if you're interested in a signed copy. The delivery is a little bit longer, but if you're interested in a signed copy, you can go to BelindaGastoncom and click on the order your book here and you can get a link to ordering your book and I will personally deliver it to you.

Belinda Gaston:

So, listen, if I had to give you some final words of encouragement, I will just say again that God still calls broken people to do bold things, that God still calls broken people to do bold things. And I know in your heart, if you're listening to this, you may have some bold things that God has called you to do, some things that you don't even realize. Like you know, there's something, there's a nudge there, right, there's more. And you're like I can't do it, god can't use me. Or maybe you've recently gotten in a position where you're like I don't, I don't even know how I got here or if I can do this. Can I really do all the things that I said I could do on my resume or in my interview or whatever. Just remember you're equipped. You weren't haphazardly chosen to be in that workspace. You weren't casually chosen to be in that organization. You weren't casually chosen or haphazardly chosen to be in the space of leadership. You were chosen by God for a purpose, with a purpose, with a purpose. You are where you're supposed to be and you are indeed equipped by God to do it.

Belinda Gaston:

So thank you again for listening to this week's episode of the Graced to Lead podcast. I believe we only have one more episode left in this season. This season has flown by. Season two has flown by, but if you found that this was helpful, please share it with someone else. Remember, you can like the podcast and you can, I believe, subscribe to the podcast on YouTube, but wherever you're listening to this, please be sure to follow, follow, follow and thank you for listening. You could choose to listen to anything, but you chose to spend a few moments here with me and Graced to Lead, and I appreciate you. So until we see each other again, we hear each other again, remember that you are indeed Graced to Lead. Bye-bye, thank you.

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Belinda Gaston

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